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A New Sexual Climate

Chances are that unless you’re a fireman, you’ve probably been told not to play with fire. But when it comes to putting out the real flames of your lust, temperature play can be just the thing to take your sex life to the next level.

woman lying about to experience a temperature game
We suggest putting on some candles as part of your foreplay ambiance

It’s a common misconception that only those who are also interested in BDSM paraphernalia like chains, whips, and handcuffs can be interested in bringing new elements into the bedroom. Of course you can combine temperature play with other fetishes like dogging, but it is not exclusively used by BDSM communities.

Unlike traditional bondage materials which must be bought specifically at an erotic shop, you’re likely to have a candle or some ice cubes sitting around your house already. Meaning that your next dance of ice and fire doesn’t have to come from sex chat rooms, it could start tonight!

And what’s more—you don’t have to worry about the fear of other people accidently finding your sex toys. The evidence of your night of debauchery slips away as quickly as it came back into the fabric of your everyday life.

Temperature play works by activating your skin’s neuroreceptors using hot and cold stimulants for the purpose of arousal. This kind of temperature change, when performed at unexpected intervals or even simultaneously, can give you a heightened sexual sensitivity.

Often the partner receiving the temperature changes will be bound or have a blindfold so as to increase the element of the unknown.

Temperature play items are the easiest tools to keep on hand when spicing up the usual bedroom routine. What more could you ask for? So release that inner Elsa and keep your casual sex partner frozen in pleasure with temperature play.

Sometimes the most dangerous activities can be the most fun.

Wax On, Wax Off

Release your inner pyromaniac when you start playing with fire in the bedroom.

Now: Before you get all stressed out feeling like a rotisserie chicken on a spit, let’s go over a few things. When we talk about “fire” play we don’t mean a consistent flame licking at the surface of your skin.

woman's body with some candle wax on her back
You will enjoy the melted wax combined with the heat on your skin!

While you can introduce short moments of direct contact such as with fire wands, generally we are just going to be talking about the heat that fire and other hot substances can provide.

Generally, you’re going to use the melted wax from your candle when dealing with direct contact. We suggest putting on some candles as part of your foreplay ambiance, using dirty talk to build up anticipation and tension before jumping into temperature play.

Once your candles have been burned enough to have collected a small pool of wax, blow out your flame and wait another minute or two until it’s reached the desired temperature. Use this time to blindfold or handcuff your partner for added suspense before drizzling over your partner’s eager body.

The new texture of the melted wax combined with the heat on your skin is going to feel absolutely electric. Depending on the type of candle that you use, you can easily transition into a sensual massage afterwards.

But there are many other substances you can use other than hot wax to get the same effect. One of the most popular items used to stimulate the senses is actually melted chocolate. Aside from its temperature factors, almost everyone loves eating chocolate—making clean up a breeze.

It’s also a great way to ensure that your one night stand is memorable and hopefully repeatable. Enjoy every minute of slathering up your partner in that sugary goodness! If you don’t like chocolate, you can also try maple syrup or caramel.

Pro Tip: Candles

Different types of candles burn at different temperatures, and some can even leave burns. Try sticking to soy wax candles and oil candles with your partner to be safe and have fun.

Ice Cold

Many people prefer the safer elements of cold play to hot because it’s easier to achieve with a new hookup and can have far less clean up. If you’re into dirty chat, suggest bringing it up to your fuck buddy early to see if they are also into temperature play.

It’s more common than you think, and far simpler to actually execute. Never underestimate the power of the ice cube when it comes to cold temperature play. This little nugget of pleasure can be used in a variety of ways and can be combined with heat elements for a dynamic sexual romp.

For example: when giving a hand job, take an ice cube in one hand and slowly wrap it around the penis’ shaft. As you massage, alternate between your warm and cold hand to keep him guessing and prolong the pleasure before orgasm.

woman rubbing an ice cube on her chest
The power of the ice cube is an underestimated pleasure giver.

While relatively easy, this simple trick is sure to have him crying out in pleasure in no time. But you don’t have to stick to the ice cube. In fact, it’s easiest to use objects that retain the temperature that they are in.

Some of these materials include glass, silicone, and metal which is why many sex toys are made using these very materials.

One way you can best incorporate your already existing sex toys into temperature play is with a glass dildo. Before having sex, stick that baby in the freezer!

You’re going to want to keep it in there for about an hour—just long enough to get it nice and cold, without worrying about the potential for cracks. As with the ice cube hand job, you’re going to want to combine both hot and cold moments with the dildo.

Keep in mind, however, to always test the temperature of your toys before using with the most common way being to use the sensitive skin on the inside of the arm

We recommend stimulating your partner’s clitoris with the warmth of your mouth, and then using the dildo at surprising intervals to keep her on her toes. You can also rub the icy dildo on your clitoris to compliment the heat created during penetrative friction.

Pro Tip: What About?...

Try taking your temperature play into the shower or bath-rub for easier clean-up and more subtle variations in temperature.

Make sure to determine clear boundaries with your partner so as to avoid miscommunication, unnecessary pain, and resentment. For the rest, just Enjoy!

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Image sources: (1) Artem Furman | (2) M.Dörr & M.Frommherz | (3) Nick Freund |