Join now for free!

I am a:
next »
Flirt Magazine:

Swinging - is it good in a relationship?

There is no doubt about it. Swinging and one night stands can become a very heated topic and debate among couples. Unlike a casual or regular threesome which can be seen as a bit of flirtatious fun and adventure that adds some novelty and vibrancy to a relationship, swinging is viewed as a fringe activity, bordering on the perverted by many people. Those who indulge in it on a regular basis as intimate and committed couples have worked out ways to make it work, those considering it, do so very, very carefully and those who say no have some very clear and considered reasons why swinging will never be an option for them.Well-built man is making out with two sexy babes

Does it help or harm a relationship?

For most couples remaining monogamous is considered normal sexual and emotional behavior, but for couples who like to swing, each partner will have sex with the opposite partner of another intimate , committed couple. This means that, despite your marriage vows you will have sexual or intimate activity with somebody other than your spouse, with your spouses permission, while he or she will have sexual intercourse with the remaining spouse of this coupling. Each couple may also choose to swap back to their partner when the time feels right. The rules of the session are often dictated beforehand so everybody knows what is allowed.In this arrangement, there exists and understanding that this act is not adulterous and does not equate to infidelity. How, you may be asking, can any loving couple in a long or short term relationship engage in a sex act with a another partner, possibly watch their partner engage in a sex act with somebody else, and then come together afterwards with their relationship intact? We wondered too.

Recreational social sex?

Shield displaying one man and two womenFar from being adultery, couples who swing view the act as primarily recreational, this is they see swinging as something fun and exciting to engage in, not a serious act or a true commitment. Whether they are in love with their partners goes without saying and some would say that it is only because of their deep, mature and all-encompassing commitment that they can knowingly engage in swinging without fear that their relationship will be in jeopardy and impacted by it. The act usually takes place at a swinging party, where couples join with the express intention of indulging as a couple.Swinging is not the same as polyamory where couples may each take several partners, or an open marriage. Swinging is also not the same as infidelity, where partners may secretly have an affair. Instead swinging is a shared activity where couples agree to engage sexually with others to gratify their own sexual needs with the express permission of their partners.Swinging couples do not, in every case, maintain a relationship with the couple they "swing" with, although some couples may choose to engage with the same couple for multiple swinging sessions, due to mutual enjoyment or a favorite partner. Whether a couple will meet with another couple once or many times is really their own personal choice and some couples may choose to meet with each couple only once to avoid any one person becoming emotionally attached. The foursome who swings and also socializes or maintains a permanent friendship is not unheard of however and is usually based on a very close friendship or some deep bond that ties the foursome together both emotionally and sexually.

How swinging can help your relationship

Many couples who swing say that their marriages have been helped by their swinging sessions. Far from being a traumatic event, they seem to approach the meetings either with a sense of great excitement, a sense of loving and giving or a casual attitude that really doesn't invite the sort of stressful attitudes that most of us would ascribe to having sexual intercourse with a stranger, while our partner does the same. Some couples engage in swinging sessions with both couples, while others may choose to have private swinging sessions with the other partner.For couples who have been together for many years, swinging can be a very natural evolution of the relationship. Once they are truly comfortable with their union they may choose to explore other options, even bisexuality with a like-minded couple. If they trust each other, the experience can then be guilt free and many view this as the ultimate gift they can bestow on their partner: the change to explore other sexual entities in a guilt-free, non judgmental environment.For many people, watching their intimate partner indulge in the sex act with somebody new, is the ultimate form of sexual excitement and satisfaction and as their relationship is on a firm footing their is only enjoyment, and no scenes of jealousy or rivalry, but this is where the situation may become tricky.

Can it go wrong?

Sex therapists warn couples who are considering swinging, that their feelings may unexpectedly turn to jealousy. Where they might have believed that they were ready for swinging, able to deal with their feelings and unlikely to become jealous, all this may change upon seeing their intimate partner with a leggy blonde or porcelain redhead. "Be cautious", says one expert, "you may find that your feelings surprise you once you are actually in the thick of it"."Couples may find that they don't really want to be with a stranger, or that their marriage vows suddenly begin to make themselves heard. Some may become jealous or angry, feeling that their partner is using the event as an excuse to cheat and some may feel that their partner doesn't really love them enough to want to be exclusive, so things may not always go as planned. In this case feelings may be hurt and some cases, relationships may not be able to sustain the painful experience of feeling betrayed".She urges couples to think long and hard about becoming part of the swinging lifestyle. If you feel reasonably sure you want to try swinging, be prepared for any unexpected feelings which may crop up and be able to regard the event as a journey you will learn from and be happy to move on, lesson learned! In this event try not to place blame on everybody for what went wrong and any feelings that may have arisen that the couple did not anticipate. For couples that are able to indulge in this higher level of excitement and intimacy, may you teach the rest of us how!

Here's something you definitely might like:

That piece of information on swingers, their lifestyle and what it's like to be in a relationship while maintaining this lifestyle - that was great, right? By the way, there are less hard core ways to spice up the intimate moments with your significant other - e.g. by sexting. Plus there is some really good article about the perception of pubic hair, so there's a lot for you to dig through, if this is the kind of lecture you are looking for. But if you've had enough reading for today, then feel free to use our match maker to find the perfect fit for your night out and maybe end up with some woman at your place!

Image sources: Image1 sassyphoto © | Image2 Atlantis © |