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8 Tips Every Beginner Needs to Know About Impact Play

If you have ever fantasised about being spanked or hurt during sex, impact play could be for you. Using a range of tools, including hands, whips, paddles and leather, you and your partner can enjoy inflicting and receiving pain in an erotically charged sex session.

couple about to start some sexy impact play
Don't forget impact play should be fun and exhilarating!

If you want to get rough and physical during your sex sessions, there are a few things you need to know about impact play.

What Is Impact Play?

Impact play is a sexualised form of consensual violence. It can involve actions such as slapping, punching, whipping, scratching, gripping or anything that involves the administration of pain. Among the sex toys used in this highly charged activity include whips, riding crops, paddles, canes and floggers.

This is a form of BDSM which can be exciting and dangerous in equal measure, which is why you and your partner need to agree some ground rules before getting started. It is easy to get carried away, but there needs to be a distinct line made between fun and abuse.

If you want to get started with impact play, there are a few things you should know first.

1. Make Sure a High Level of Trust Exists Between You Both

Whether you are administering the blows or receiving them, you need to know that you can trust your partner to have your best interests at heart. Impact play is certainly not for first dates and the first throes of romance; it is an intense activity that is best enjoyed between two trusting, loving partners who both know where to draw the line.

Before you get started, have a frank discussion with your partner about likes, dislikes, ground rules and boundaries.

2. Ease Into It

Impact play is a big deal during the first tentative stages.

And you know what? That’s absolutely fine! This is a new chapter in your sex life, so revel in the fact that you can explore untapped fantasies bit by bit.Along the way, there will be things you don’t like so much… and things that blow your minds.

Go into your first impact play sessions with an open mind, and be honest with one another about what works and what doesn’t. Over time, you will both develop a routine of hitting and sexual violence that is exciting without being frightening.

3. Build Up the Pain

At the start of your impact play session, you should kick things off with some gentle hitting, slapping or punching. You need to work out your partner’s threshold for pain, and going in all guns blazing from the beginning might inflict more pain than your partner can handle.

couple in the middle of an impact play session
Explore those untapped fantasies bit by bit...

Start with some gentle hitting, and make sure you gauge the reaction before increasing the pain. This is a great way to start a new sexual chapter in your life, as it eases you both into it.

4. Keep the Lines of Communication Open

Before, during and after each impact play session, you both need to communicate.

  • What did you like?
  • What went a little over the top?
  • Is there anything you both want to try next time?

A lot of impact play involves role play, which means it can be easy for the line between fantasy and reality to become blurred. Agree on a safeword before getting started, which should be used when the pain becomes too intense.

5. Choose a Safe and Comfortable Environment

The best place to try out impact play for the first time is in the home. Goin through it in a hotel, for instance, could arouse the suspicion of other guests and hotel staff.

This can be a very daunting experience for beginners, so it’s often nice to be in familiar surroundings at home.

6. Have Fun

While there is a violent nature to impact play, it should always be fun and exhilarating. Don’t take things too seriously, and try to let your hair down a little.

It is not unusual for couples to end up in fits of giggles when spanking a bare bottom or slapping a penis, so just go with the flow.

7. Be Selective About It

Before you inflict pain on your partner, do some practice with a cushion. Work out the various levels of force you could use. Also, decide in advance how hard you could hit certain areas of the body. After all, you can probably hit a muscular area of the body surrounded by fat a little harder than a hard area such as the shins.

Exactly where pain could be inflicted — and how — should be discussed before you get started.

8. Experiment with Scenarios

Simply hitting someone you love and causing them pain is usually a very uncomfortable and distressing experience. What makes impact play fun is the fact that you can both get into character by setting up a specific scenario.

lesbian couple trying some impact play
You can include whips, riding crops, etc., and get into the role play.

For instance, you might want to play at doctor and patient, teacher and pupil or boss and employee. This is your chance to escape into another world, so let your imagination roam free. The best thing about role play? You can leave reality at the bedroom door for a little while.

Impact play can be, by its own nature, harsh. But do remember that performed correctly between two loving people, can be more exciting and passionate, leadsing to mind-blowing sex, and it also has the potential to build on trust within a relationship. But there is a fine line between sexualised pain and outright abuse. As long as you and your partner talk things through and be honest with one another, there’s no reason why your impact sessions can’t be exhilarating for the both of you.

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