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Have an affair to remember - without getting caught!

White collar of a shirt with a lipstick stainYou love your spouse or significant other (SO) but sex with the same person over time can get stale – or even cut off! – and there's nothing like the excitement of a spicy relationship on the side to perk up your whole life. Several chat rooms and dating sites come in handy for that. The only problem is, most of the time sadly, situations tend to head south and they can leave a lot of grief – not to say expense when it comes to lawyers and divorce – in their wake.

What's the solution? Get smart.

Most of us understand the idea of minimizing risk on the job or even driving cautiously to avoid accidents. Yet, when it comes to finding a little fun and sexual excitement on the side of a regular relationship, many people seem to throw caution to the winds. In the haze of a hot affair, it's easy to lose sight of even the basics, but do yourself a favour and think about it before you take the plunge. In this way you can enjoy one night stands relaxed and have a lot of adventures. Just think of yourself before you act!

Here are some ways to stay smart – and not get caught.

First, ask yourself: Can you really keep a secret? The very best way not to get caught is simply not to tell anyone that you know - ever! - about what you've done. Conversely, one of the easiest ways to get caught cheating on your spouse or significant other is to tell, even one of your BFFs. Here's the deal: It may feel a little better for you in the short term - but your friend is likely to find the information at least a little disturbing or off putting. So... maybe they have a significant other of their own who they confide in... who tells her/his own BFFs... and suddenly it's public knowledge.

Keep it away from home.

Someone you meet on a business trip or even by chance - through a supplier you visit, at a specialty store you always visit on your own - and someone who is unlikely to ever come into contact with your SO or your/their social circle is the best situation of all. Keeping the two worlds as separate as possible is ideal. It reflects the way you feel about them, doesn't it? Enjoying one person's company doesn't necessarily take you away from anyone or anything else. And let's be honest - it's also adding insult to injury to be carrying on with someone your SO comes into contact with on a regular basis.

Surprised couple in bed caught red-handed making love

Set boundaries.

You want to keep your main relationship intact, right? Then make sure that the person you're getting involved with does too – or at least, that they have no plans for a permanent relationship or anything along traditional lines. Get the gist of it straight from the beginning and you'll be saving the both of you a lot of emotional drama and possibly heartache later on. Finding someone else who's just looking for sexy fun on the side through a website designed to help people like you get together is probably the easiest way to keep things easy, breezy and just for fun.

Avoid making obvious changes to your regular routine.

Naturally, people - including your SO - will notice if you suddenly start coming home late from work either regularly or on occasion with no explanation for the lost time. Here's where a little planning comes in handy;

  • Look for opportunities to combine your visits with regular activities. An appointment or activity where the timing is variable can make a good cover story - and not an entirely untrue one. You show up for your usual squash - but leave after one game instead of your typical three. You had a weekend sales meeting out of town - one that ended on Sunday morning but that you extended till the next day...
  • It's difficult to achieve in real life situations but try to account for every detail. What happens if someone needs to get hold of you just when you and your luscious lover are getting down to it? Will you answer the phone or not?
  • Even if you've been keeping your trysts far away from home, there will be people around you. How can you minimize the risk of running into anyone you know? The most obvious is to go farther and farther afield but that takes up time too. Is there a part of town or district that will fit the bill?

Cash only, no credit.

Unless you routinely travel for a living, untraceable cash is the only way to cover your butt when it comes to out of town hotel, restaurant and even gas bills. And then - how will you account for the money that's been spent? Who will want to know - and why?

Be cautious with technology.

Phone calls, text messages (even if you code them,) emails, subscriptions to online dating sites - all of these can spell disaster if you can't properly manage them. Be sure to:

  • Set up a separate email account and change the settings so that none of the sent messages are saved. Delete everything.
  • A separate, prepaid mobile phone can be a lifesaver; it's either that or delete all those texts and phone calls.
  • The phone bill itself will be an issue either way you choose to go. Calls will show up - and if you have a separate account, another bill is hard to explain. A post office box and mail management become important.
  • Educate yourself on how to clean your online records. There are specific browsers, programs and other aids that will allow you to surf the web without leaving an electronic trail of breadcrumbs directly to your fun on the side.

Sexuality is a fluid element – and monogamy just isn't for most of us, so the statistics say. But, having a great sex life doesn't have to mean giving everything else you love up. It just means you have you think before you leap.

Don't forget to read these things here as well:

Chances are, that you are reading this, because your sex life got old at home. Maybe there are other options to try with your significant other before organizing an affair - for example you can persuade her to try a threesome or the both of you may try the lifestyle of swingers. Probably having some roleplay is exactly what the two of you need. There is only one way to find out - talk to your partner!

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