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A fling: the ultimate sexy hook up

Close-up photograph of a woman passionately kissing a man on his cheekA fling is light and fun – and hot and sexy too. It's that summertime romance with a fuck buddy or a married affair on your business trip that you'll never forget. If you can keep the experience drama-free, it can rejuvenate your outlook on life and make the old feel young again. Whether you are more into casual sex with young folks on sex sites like fuck book or rather into cougar dating with more experienced partners - it's worth the shot, since there is always plenty of fish wherever you look.

Flings for all

A fling is an affair with a difference – it's an affair that is never meant to go very far. Unlike with swinging it's mostly a one-off thing. It burns brightly but not for very long and that's what makes a fling special. A fling is a casual sexual relationship that doesn't look to go any farther and both parties know it from the outset. It often happens when people are out of their usual environment – on holidays or on a business trip. The newness of the setting makes people bolder somehow and being away from familiar territory and prying eyes often means that people feel freer to act on their impulses. It can be harder to find that same free space to have a fling closer to home, but many people still manage. The rush of exhilaration that you get from a fling is worth the trouble. Other than the pure excitement of somebody new, why do people have flings?

A love of casual sex has to be high on the list of reasons. Maybe you're at a stage in life where you're concentrating on work or professional projects and you just don't have the time for a steady relationship. You may be newly divorced or perhaps you've just broken up from a long term relationship and you can't see yourself getting involved with anyone new just yet. Or, maybe your life - and marriage - are in a rut and you just need a great pick-me-up. A fling can work wonders, adding excitement and a welcome sense of anticipation to your everyday world and making life seem new again. It's a casual relationship that's fun for both partners – otherwise, why bother?

That's the beauty of it – there is no sense of obligation on either side. You know that your meetings and trysts happen because both of you really want to be there and truly just want to enjoy sex with each other – not because of a promise you made a long time ago, or because you feel like you have to or that you owe your partner anything. If you're in the mood for a fling, where do you find partners? It may be a problem if you're in the mood for casual sex and you can't seem to find a willing fling partner right away. It needs to be someone - obviously - where the sparks fly and the attraction is mutual. There are a few ways you can go about looking for and finding that special person:

  • Through your extended social circle - although gossip may be an issue at some point if things go south;
  • Through work or business connections - although gossip in this sphere may actually hurt you down the line;
  • An online site designed to help sexy people find each other, where you can create a profile and post honestly about what you're looking for.

Naked couple fooling around in bed

Avoiding the pitfalls

It may seem contrary to the spirit of a good fling to actually think about it and plan ahead of time, but keeping things easy and breezy isn't always so easy to do. When things are going really well between the two of you, it can be hard not to have feelings and want to deepen your involvement with that special fling partner but is that what you really want? Considering the consequences beforehand helps to make sure that your fling stays on the path that you want, without venturing into territory you consider off limits. Here are some ideas for keeping it cool:

Legs of a woman with high heels and her lover

  • Make sure you know what you want from the beginning and communicate it to your partner. If a more committed relationship is not in the cards for you, for whatever reason, then the best route is to be very up front about your intentions - and then stick to the rules yourself. If you're already attached and the affair is something you want very much to keep on the side, then this step is especially important and can save you a lot of drama down the line.
  • Set up some rules that limit the scope of the relationship. First: no sleepovers. Second: no meetings or socializing with family and friends. If you want this to be a wonderful addition to your life – rather than taking over your life – you need to work to keep it separate from your everyday world.
  • Choose the right partner. This should be someone who is fun loving and carefree – at least as far as you are concerned. That person can really come from anywhere. It could be someone you already know or who is in your social circles but that can be very problematic if the relationship ends up on the rocks for whatever reason. If you're contemplating a fling with someone already close to you, you really want to be sure that this person can handle the casual nature of it well and resist the urge to tell everyone they know. Do you really, really trust that person to do so? Finding a stranger who just likes sex over the internet is much more likely to keep things easy and fun.
  • Keep it separated. The best idea is to meet in areas of town that you don't normally frequent, and out of town lovers are even better. Keeping an actual physical separation between the casual relationship and your everyday life is a good way to ensure that the two threads never cross.
  • Be honest, and when it's not fun anymore, cut it off. If you're not jumping up and down, over the moon excited to get to your next tryst, then something's wrong with the premise. It should never feel like an obligation, or something that you're doing just because you've been meeting up every week for a period of time. Do yourselves both a favor and let it go when it becomes routine.

A fling is that brief but wonderful relationship that brings a smile to your lips even years and years after the fact. That's the magic of a fling.

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