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Casual sex = no strings fun

Passionate couple making love on the floorSweet and simple: casual sex is about having fun. Whether you're taking a break between relationships or whether you've decided that relationships just don't fit into your lifestyle now or maybe even ever, your sexual nature doesn't take a vacation. Casual sex relationships, one night stands, fuck buddies – whatever you want to call them, they fit the bill and can help spice up your whole life.Best of all – it's easy. It's about two people who want to have fun with each other and then get on with the rest of their lives. Many people today focus on careers, especially when freelancing or starting a business. They have a full social life too and there's just no time for traditional relationships. But – where to find that special playmate? It's probably not a good idea to get into a casual sex relationship with friends or people in the same tight social circle unless you want to have the news to spread around fairly quickly. Who knows what future conflicts you may be setting up when a friend's hot new boyfriend ends up being last year's casual fling? It may even help to pick someone you're attracted to but you just know you could never have a committed relationship with - that guy with the crazy Star Wars obsession, or the girl in accounting with a laugh that grates on you. That way you know your own motives are clear - you're acting on lust, not a sublimated wish for a relationship.

The workplace can be a great place to find casual sex partners as long as it's a large office or operation. If you can hook up with someone who works in a different department or area where you have little daily contact, it can work well, but if there's only three of you in a cramped office, it can get uncomfortable really quickly if things head south. Once you've found the right candidate, it's time to get honest. Being perfectly clear about what you're after and then making sure YOU stick to that part of the deal is the best way to keep things easy and clean.

Young sexy girl wearing a crop top and a short leather jacketThen – it's time to have the best sex of your life! Since sex is the main - and only - point it's a great opportunity to explore and ask for all those kinky little things you may have trouble with negotiating in a relationship. It's a unique opportunity to experiment with someone without having to worry about any extra baggage like whether they'll think you're too kinky or your sister-in-law will look at you funny at the next family gathering.

How to keep it cool

Casual sex can work out fabulously for both of you – but you have to be clear on what you want. Be sure first that your own motives are honest. Do you really want "just" casual sex or are you actually, secretly, hoping for it to develop into a something more? Being honest with yourself comes first and will save you a world of heartache down the road. If you want emotional involvement, then go for it honestly – and if you don't, then don't set up any expectations on the other person's part. It doesn’t mean being blunt and brutal. "You're not my girl/boyfriend" shouldn't be something you throw at the other person to excuse bad behaviour or every time you meet just to make sure they know what's what. Having a candid conversation and respecting each other's boundaries are the keys to keeping it both casual and respectful. Sometimes, though, even with the best of intentions, you may find yourself getting emotionally involved and it changes the whole dynamic. Here are a few ideas on how to avoid that scenario and keep things light and easy:

  • Don't stay overnight. When the fun's over, go your separate ways. Keep your time together only about the sex and that's where the focus will stay. In general, don't get too cozy at their place.
  • Don't get chummy with their friends and family and likewise, avoid sharing any secrets or intimate information, exchanging gifts or other intimacies. If you don't want a boy/girlfriend, then don't act like one yourself!
  • Feel free to say yes or no according to your whim - and be prepared for the same. The easygoing rules do apply both ways! This is not time for a pity fuck or for "just saying yes" because you feel obliged. Your only obligation in a casual sex relationship is to show up ready to go at it with gusto - not for "wake me up when it's over!" sex.
  • Keep it civil. If you find yourself in a situation where your fuck buddy is treating you selfishly or making demands - like he can drop in whenever he wants but you need to call ahead, or she makes a date and then leaves you hanging because "it's just casual, right?" - then it's not casual sex anymore, it's an abusive relationship. If your casual sex partner can't arrive on time or bother to text you back unless he/she actually wants sex right now, then that's not a fuck buddy, that's just laziness. Don't feel like you have to put up with a lot of nonsense just because it's casual and you're not a girl/boyfriend. Your partner should value your time and the sex enough to be civil and reasonable about it.
  • Sure, you both know it's very casual and there are likely other people in the picture, but do you need to talk about all those other guys and girls? There's no better sex buzz kill than feeling like your partner is thinking about someone else - and on top of that, it's just plain rude.

Naked couple insinuating position 69

Keep it easy and have fun!

Remember: most of all, casual sex is about both of you having fun and exploring your sexuality and your sexual attraction. If it's not a happy occasion for you anymore, then drop it like a hot potato. But if it is going good, then be a considerate lover while getting your own rocks off too. The best way to keep it going is to make sure both of you leave satisfied every single time.

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